Cross Centered

Hi ya'll! Just wanted to share something really cool that happened to me today!
For the past couple of months I've hit a really really dry spot in my relationship with the Lord. I was going through a really hard decision, and wasn't sure if I was walking in God's will about some stuff. Even after Christ showed me that I WAS actually walking in His will, I didn't trust Him completely. It was kind of like God had gone from my best friend to someone I was afraid (but not the good kind of fear) of. Thankfully, God has been awesome as usual and, even though I have  an extremely hard time trusting him, began to heal my heart anyway. But still I just didn't want to get too close to God, if that makes sense. I was afraid of even just spending time with Him because I was afraid He would reveal something to me that I didn't want to hear. So it's been rough! For awhile I felt like I couldn't go to God because I was just so afraid of what He had to say. It took a lot to realize how He is sovereign and isn't going to change His will after He has shown me that is where He wants me.
ANYWAY all that great background...These past couple days I've been finishing up 1 Corinthians. There's a lot of really awesome stuff in there! But finishing Corinthians one thing I've really gotten out of it was the importance of Jesus. I know that sounds silly, but it's taken awhile for me to sit back and remember WHAT makes me a CHRISTian! I had gotten so worked up in trying to make decisions for myself and 'following God's will' that I forgot that the reason I'm on this earth even able to PRAY is because of Jesus! Last fall in my youth group we talked about living cross-centered lives. Guys it really is just now starting to hit me how important that is. I had spent three months making my faith based on my good works, and guys that's idolatry.  I was putting my works above what Jesus did on the cross, and I've had to do some major repenting of that.
SO about what happened today!
Most of ya'll know that yesterday started lent. I'm actually doing this thing called the lent guide at the village, where instead of giving up one thing, each week of lent you give up one thing in particular. Like one week it can be TV, next week facebook, etc. This first week is a food fast. This can be fasting all week, or just a meal fast. So I'm fasting from lunch. Yesterday since I wasn't eating I decided to just go to the special needs room with a friend all class period. But today I actually went to lunch, and in the time I should have been eating, I put in headphones and listened to worship music and just focused on the cross.
Best.thing.ever.
I haven't felt the Lord's presence in so stinking long, and today in the middle of a cafeteria at a table with my friends I was hit with SO much humility-It's like, who am I for the God of the universe to have died for me??? It was so cool being able to experience his grace again! It's better than ANYTHING!
wow that was a lot! I love you guys!!!! Take care!

Hannah Becker
PS-if you guys could be praying for a friend of mine, Emma, that'd be great! She's not a believer, but I htink the Lord is working on her heart! Thanks guys!