Ok, i don't get whats going on.
A couple of days ago, i was feeling happy and social and just any positive feeling you could think of. But, i don't know what happened, but lately i have been feeling anxious and pressured by everything. Friends, girls, school, anything that could disscourage a sixteen year old. But that is just part of it...
I don't know where God has been for me during the past few days. I've been feeling that He's distant and ignoring what I've been asking:
"God, please relieve me of this pointless anxiety I have felt for a while now. I feel that you have been away and ignoring what i feel like i need. I have felt like your not there and that your never going to pull through again. And God, this is tearing me apart from the inside because I KNOW I'M WRONG and I just can't function without your power and love in my life. I know you're an all-loving, omnipotent God but lately I CAN'T FEEL THAT. Please put me on a path back to you and may it lead to my faith and relationship with you be stronger afterward."
It's been a week and a half since I prayed this to God and I have not felt an ounce of His presence return to my life.
Philipians 4: 6-7 says, "Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ."
I DON'T KNOW HOW to turn my anxiety over to Christ or to make my request known to Him. I feel like I can't put my heart, like actually put everything that's on my heart into a simple prayer anymore. I can't pray Passionantly to Christ because I dont FEEL Passionate about Him anymore. I truly hate what has happened to my reletionship with Christ and I only have myself to blame for it.
I need your guys' guidance, advice, wisdom because i feel so LOST without Christ in my life.
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Last year, I went to quest and later on an amazing retreat with my school...afterwards, I felt nothing. I remember posting on here about how, overtime, I realized that God was testing me. It's as if he was just making sure that I was going to hold on to everything I learned at camp and at my retreat. I guess later I slowly got my joy back again, but not until I started praying again and reading the Bible again. So my biggest advice to you would be to follow Christ more than ever before. Pray more, read your Bible more. That's the only thing that brought my joy back again last year.
ReplyDelete"Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the TESTING OF YOU FAITH produce perseverance, and let perseverance be perfect, so that you will be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." ~ James 1:2-4
DJ first off, you need to realize that your human. "I know this Grant", yes but we are human, which means that we live in a broken world apart from a perfect communion with God. But we are distant. God is never distant. We are. I know your thinking that "wait I'm trying to pursue the Lord and be passionate" but I would ask you to re-examine your life and see if there is an area or something that maybe your not surrendering to the Lord. I dont know what that might be, but maybe there is something that the Spirit is moving you to do and you simply haven't dont that yet. God works in mysterious ways. Remember what you learned alot about your week, that God is just a feeling or emotion. Check yourself and make sure that your not letting God become a emotion. I encourage you to Read the Psalms, especially 1-41. Many of these are times when David is feeling extremely distant for God, and fearing his life. David is being hunted and Saul is trying to have him killed. Remember, nobody is trying to cause physical harm to you. But David is crying out to God is his moment of need. But he always finishes the Psalm praising the Lord for always remaining faithful and rescuing him. "The Lord is always near to those that are broken hearted and those crushed in the Spirit" Psalm 34:18. Lastly, remember that everyone goes through these times. God is just saying Dj continue to be faithful to me. I have been here from the beginning of time, and will be around long after you have left this earth. Press into Him. He is near. Seek Him with all your heart, pray with more zeal and fervor than you ever have. He loves you. You know this. Just continue to be obedient to Him.
ReplyDeleteLove you bro.
I am encouraged by your honesty and hunger for your relationship with the Lord. Cling to the scriptures my man. I love that you quoted so many in your post. Stay on this blog DJ. Even in your struggles, you are inspiring more people than you know.
ReplyDeleteMan, this is awesome. The Lord is doing something with your life right now that you nor any of us could possibly know about! And you want to feel closer to the Lord since you aren't really feeling it right now. I doubt I can say anything more helpful or true that what everyone on here has already stated, but one thing specifically stuck out to me when i read this post.
ReplyDelete"I DON'T KNOW HOW to turn my anxiety over to Christ or to make my request known to Him. I feel like I can't put my heart, like actually put everything that's on my heart into a simple prayer anymore. I can't pray Passionantly to Christ because I dont FEEL Passionate about Him anymore."
First thing, I totally know what you mean by not being able to give something COMPLETELY over to the Lord. I struggle with that a lot. But one thing that helps me with it it right when I wake up (and am actually awake, with brain function and everything haha), i kneel to the ground in a lowly position before the Lord. Because although you may not feel Him, he's definitely there. So put yourself in a position to humble yourself, and then pray to him. Just tell him like you would tell your best friend.
Secondly, I'm sure you know this already but God is wayyyy more than a feeling. We can't confine all that he is into a feeling. you know? He's so soooo much more than that! Anyways, i am praying for you and I hope this helps you surrender it all the the Lord and let him do his thing.
-Alexa
Hey DJ I think the best advice I can give you (and I know some people have already said this) is God IS NOT JUST A FEELING! I struggled with this a lot last year and don't want you to have to go through what I did. I became angry with God for being distant from me but the truth is the lord is with us always. It took me until this year to truly grasp that. But since then my relationship with God has strengthened so much. Also know that you should never be content with your relationship because we can always grow closer to the lord. And you can never love the lord too much. Seek out the lord with all your heart. I will be praying for you and hope things get better.
ReplyDeleteDJ and everyone who commented,
ReplyDeleteI would just like to say thanks so much because I am going through the exact same thing right now, and I'm definitly going to try all the things that you suggested...
Thanks so much!