Hi everyone:) It's Hannah Becker, from session eleven. I'm sorry if this is kind of a redundant thing you have all heard about that went to the quest reunion..but for those who didn't, and those who did too..I am in need of prayer..like majorly.
Basically right now I'm dealing with a lot of like..inner conflict as far as jealousy. Without going into too much detail, I got my hopes up because of something the teacher said.. I auditioned for varsity choir and, although I really shouldn't have..I allowed myself to somewhat put my confidence in what others said, instead of relying on the Lord. Well, the auditions come and go..and I move up, but not to varsity. I mean, I should be happy I moved up. And I am. But it makes it even more challenging, because two of my friends..one being a best friend of mine moved up to varsity, a class ahead of mine. I don't know why it's such a big deal to me..but now I just keep on wondering what I did wrong, and how I can improve..but they have a rule that for the December auditions we aren't allowed to ask them or talk to them about the auditions..so I"m kind of in the dark now.
You guys, I have no idea why Christ allowed this to happen. I'm really confused, and I'm trying to be optimistic..because we have another audition in May, where we do this whole thing all over again. I'm really hating all the jealousy I'm having towards my friend, and it's affecting my attitude a little all over. But really, I just want peace, you guys. I want to stop being jealous and wondering what I could have done better..and why I didn't move up further. One way I've been trying to look at is the passage we know so well from James. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds. For you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
I wish it were as easy as just reading this verse and just immediately being able to have a new outlook on the situation. But I know as well as anyone that I'm human..duh..and I can't do this without Christ, and without prayer from other people. I love you guys so much, and if anyone is free to call and talk anytime, just let me know!
:)
hannah b.
hey hannah i remember what all you talked about at the reunion so this totally makes sense! this is what i'd suggest for now because it's helped me before, and i mean, like everyday, too! haha.
ReplyDeletepray for your best friend who moved up to varsity. i've found that in praying for other people, even people who evoke negative emotions from you, YOUR heart changes along with whatever God wants to do in THEIR life. prayer is as much about the person praying as it is for the person being prayed for (or at least it feels that way..ha). so just give it a shot. not saying something will happen immediately, but something will come from it! HE DELIVERS! :)
I really love the verse you put in this post. You talk about wanting to find peace. This is how i look for God's peace: look at all He has given and done for me and others around me. I really like Colossians 3:15-"let the peace of God fill your hearts." This kinda reminds me of a story a counselor once told me. It was the final round in the basketball playoffs for his high school, and his team lost. He took a look back at his season, and noticed how they won every game, but didn't pay any attention to God.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm trying to say that you have to thank God for everything that happens in your life, the good and the bad, because God has a reason behind it. Maybe He's trying to teach you something.
I don't know if this will help but I really hope it does. :)
One of the things I love to do (like, seriously, all the time) is look at all the good that can/will come out of this. Maybe you can't see it now, but God puts us in each place for a reason. Maybe you'll meet a really good friend because you're in a different class, or you were saved from meeting someone you would not be very good friends with. Maybe something else will come up that God wants you to do and you wouldn't have time for it if you were in varsity. There is so much good that can come out of it! Also, something I learned from the blog is that noone is more blessed that anyone else. Just think about that. She is not more blessed than you, and you are not more blessed than her. I find this keeps me going a lot.
ReplyDeleteI will definitely pray for you, and good luck with your next auditions!