early sunday morning

i know this is long.....but i would love to share this with you quest.

oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. God is the most incredible, amazing, faithful God. He is everything. oh man. i am just filled to the brim; my cup is overflowing.

for one, i second Cam's intense enthusiasm about 1 Corinthians...it is baller. i am loving it so far and this morning at church i dug into it a little deeper. this morning i woke up at 7:30 and dragged myself out of bed after a loooooong day on my feet yesterday. dancing from 11am-11pm is a long day my friends. lest to say, i only got about 5 hours of sleep and my body wanted to kill me this morning. "Should i text mark (our worship pastor at church) and tell him i'm not feeling well and can't come this morning?" it was like Satan was running that thought through my head over and over and refusing me to get up or something. but by the grace of God i got out of bed, got ready and headed over to church to practice at 8am for worship.

craziness abounded because the monitors weren't working, mark's electric acoustic's battery died, and none of us could figure out what channels any of us were connected to. it was a crazy practice and mark was flustered as all get out. service finally crept up on us at 9:30 and our first song?? "Not For Us" by Chris Tomlin. uhhhh. hello..."it's not for us, it's all for You"

kind of a humbling moment, huh? mark kind of took a step back and was like, what are we doing here? why do we always make everything about us when it isn't? it's about Christ.....and the rest of our worship was so encouraging as well.

"God of my hurting, God of my healing
Be my everything"

"You are my strength, strength like no other
You are my hope, hope like no other
Reaches to me
In the comfort of your grace
In the fullness of your love
You lift me up"

so so so beautiful. God moved me to tears after our service today because He was just overwhelming me with His heart and compassion. We talked about global outreach today and spreading the word of Christ to the nations...turns out there are hundreds of millions of people in India alone who have never even HEARD the gospel, who aren't even AWARE there is a Christ or a Bible. I was just sitting there crying...why haven't they? Why can't they? Who are we to try? How can they live without knowing the God that loves? it broke my heart...

then i thought of the passage in 1 Cor 1 that Cam talked about, about preaching the gospel not with eloquent words of wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its power. these people, these unreached nations-- they don't need wisdom and words, they need the CROSS...they need God's love and how He loves them. The crazy thing that Cam didn't mention the verse's context is that Paul was writing to the Corinthians about divisions in the church and how he did not desire anyone to say "I follow Paul," but rather "I follow Christ." He did not want anyone to have the ability to say they follow Paul or were baptized by Paul...He says, "For Christ did not send me to baptize but to proclaim the gospel, and not with eloquent words of wisdom, so that the cross of Christ might not be emptied of its power." ok bam.

it is NOT FOR US....it is ALL FOR HIM....and the power of the cross is mighty to save, let us not be discouraged. I just want to remember that my heart for these untouched people is 1) a reflection of God's heart in me, for He loves them and has compassion on them and sees their hurt and heals them 2) is not in vain because i realize that I cannot do anything about it but CHRIST can do something about it, and He can do that through me if He desires that for my life 3) broken, and we are called to live a life of purpose and of spreading the gospel and story of Christ. so how am I doing that on daily basis? how are we doing that on a daily basis?

i guess now i'm just trying to figure out where God needs me and wants me to further His kingdom and do His work. i am an elementary education major and i do love to teach, but i don't know if that's what He wants right now. and i don't know where He wants me to go or what He wants me to do, but i am just going to remember that the cross has power and God's foolishness is greater than any human wisdom (1 Cor 1:25).

and, in 1 Cor 2: 12 it says: "Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the gifts bestowed on us by God." i feel that because i have received the Spirit that is from God, i can better understand why He has given me certain gifts (teaching, evangelism, faith, mercy, exhortation, knowledge) and maybe that will make it clear where He wants me to be.