Struck Down and not Destroyed

Wow. It has been ages since I have posted. No worries, I have kept up with the reading and have been inspired by everything that you guys have posted, but posting takes a lot of time that I NEED to set aside...and I'm starting to realize how much more I get out of what I'm reading when I get on here and post, so with the band season wrapping up, I can't wait to get more involved on here again :)

I guess I'll start with a summation of my depression from the last couple of days and then explain how amazingly 2 Corinthians has been applying to my life (which if you aren't reading...please do, Paul is speaking God's truth in these letters to the church at Corinth, lets soak up as much as we can!)-

We have this weekend retreat at my church coming up in November, and I have been going to this since middle school. Over the last few years, an increasing number of my friends have joined me. Last year, one of my friends came really confused about her faith, unsure of who she was or who God was, but left knowing that there is a possibility discovering who she is by creating an identity in christ. I let her take my bible home with her after the weekend and got a new one soon after, excited that after knowing her and praying for her over 5 years, she might actually commit her life to Christ. Even by the end of the school year things still looked bright...but I didn't stay in touch with her over the summer. As school started back up I grew close with her again, but felt so much peer pressure when I was around her...not necessarily to do anything bad...but to begin putting my trust in other things and people. Finally, with the weekend retreat coming back up, I knew it would be a chance for God to use me again and I bring her the sign up sheet, along with the few other girls who normally come.

Almost a day after I have invited the usual bunch of girls who come, my best friend asks if she can join us at the retreat this year. She is a mormon, and after praying for her for 9 years and inviting her nearlly every year, I am over-joyed...then this week comes. The girl in the paragraph above, Emily, tells me she is not sure she wants to come this year. I find out that over the sumer she became agnostic, and does not want to be converted. She not only tells me this, but goes on to say that I am judgemental and probably do not want to hang out with her anymore and that she worries I will try to "help" her.

Isn't this the common misconception we receive as christians? That we go around trying to judge and convert everyone. condemning them for their sins, acting all high and mighty.

This crushes me for several reasons. One, because being labeled as a stereotypical christian when I am trying to be set apart, feels like a step backwards. It's as if I am trying so hard to wave my hands in the air and show my friends how my life has changed with christs, and they think I am just boasting, or trying to show them up as a better person...the second reason? Because she is now attempting to convince my other friends that this isnt the weekend retreat for them, and that they won't enjoy it. Not only that, but my best friend of 9 years, agrees with her. She agrees with all the flaws in my character Emily seems to have become the expert of pointing out in me. My best friend knows me better than this, I don't shove religion down anyone's throat, and she knows I'm not afraid of talking about God...but she goes along with Emily anyways, and I wonder how many people percieve me this same way.

So, Ive gone around sulking the last few days. All the girls are still coming this upcoming November, but I was really down about the whole thing.

So, how this ties into 2nd Corinthians? Well, let me show you :)

Remembering 1 Corinthians 4 I am reminded that God is my only judge, Paul says "I do not even judge myself." You know what? sulking, worrying that my character is not meeting the character I want it to, putting myself down because I did not meet my own expectations...is not worth it. God is our ONLY judge, which means, that Emily's words shouldn't have affected me as they had. Should I cower behind some "veil" as it talks about in 2 Corinthians 3, trying to hide myself as a christian so that I won't be judged by others...NOOO!!! come on, this is like the song we sang in sunday school while we danced around a candle, "hide it under a bushel, no! I'm going to let it shine..."

2 Corinthians 3:18 says "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord." When we are saved, our faces become unveiled, and more specifically our hearts. There is no point trying to hide it, God has transformed us. And every day as we grow closer to him, we continue to transform more into his image, meaning that our lives become a display of who God is.

Continuing on into the next verse, 2 Corinthians 4:1 Paul starts out saying "we do not lose heart." This verse alone is the tiumphant stand I needed to pick me back up. I'm not sure why Emily's words cut me so hard, or why I felt like the purpose of my mission for christ was pointless...but that is exactly why Paul was writing to Corinth in the first place, to encourage them to stay on mission through the struggles. Even then, I can't do anything to save Emily, or my best friend...or any of the 5 girls who come with me for that matter. I can try to shine my light as brightly as I want to, but how the light affects those around me is up to the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 4:6 "For it is God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shown in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." God is in charge...As far as I can tell, God really has control here, he is my judge, and he has the power to bring salvation to his children. Why have I been worrying so much about things not even in my power?

Is the life of a missionary easy...obviously not. Look at 2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are pressed hard on all sides, but not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed-" When we live our lives for christ, on mission wherever God has called us right now, at home, school, careers...we will be pressed down on, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down...but there is a promise in that too. A promise that we can hold on to, knowing full well that with God we are on the winning team. We could suffer through all those trials, but we will never be crushed. never be perplexed. never be forsaken. never be destroyed.

So reading this in 2 Corinthians was an amazing reminder to me. I hope you took something from reading this, if anything, that God is the only one in control in all situations. I'm continuing to learn so much in my personal journey with christ and every time I open my bible in the morning it' s like another humility lesson, teaching me about the power and love of God.

Please be praying for my best friend, and Emily. I love them both so much and want nothing but a life devoted to christ for them. There is still nearly a month and I believe in the power of prayer. Thank you for reading, please comment :)